I do not ask...

Over the past few days, fragments of a poem I memorized in high school have been popping up in my consciousness. This morning I finally looked it up: "I Do Not Ask, O Lord, That Life May Be," written by Adelaide Anne Proctor. It was the next to the last verse that captivated me as a teenager. This was my first inkling that I do not have to understand the ways of the Lord -- "I do not ask my cross to understand, /My way to see." Rather, I only need trust in Him and cling to Him -- "Better in darkness just to feel Thy hand, /And follow Thee." A few years later I would read Proverbs 3:5-6 -- "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." -- and add it to my spiritual survival kit. It's still there, still nourishing me, comforting me, challenging me. Blessed be the most holy Word of God!

I do not ask, O Lord, that life may be

A pleasant road;

I do not ask that Thou wouldst take from me

Aught of its load.

I do not ask that flowers should always spring

Beneath my feet;

I know too well the poison and the sting

Of things too sweet.

For one thing, only Lord, dear Lord, I plead:

Lead me aright,

Though strength should falter and though heart should bleed,

Through peace to light.

I do not ask, O Lord, that Thou shouldst shed

Full radiance here

Give but a ray of peace, that I may tread

Without a fear.

I do not ask my cross to understand,

My way to see;

Better in darkness just to feel Thy hand,

And follow Thee.

Joy is like restless day; but peace divine

Like quiet night:

Lead me, O Lord, till perfect day shall shine,

Through peace to light.

~Adelaide Anne Proctor