The Heart of Christ

This Heart lives on service. It does not seek to glorify itself, but the Father alone. It does not speak of its love. It performs its service so unobtrusively that it is almost forgotten, as we forget our heart under the stress of our affairs. We think that life lives of itself. No one listens to his own heart, not even for a second -- his heart, that bestows hour after hour on him. We have grown used to the slight tremor in our being, to the eternal beating of the waves that from within us dash on the shore of consciousness. We accept it as we do our destiny, or nature, or the course of things. We have grown used to love. And we no longer hear the tapping finger that knocks days and night at the gate of our soul; we no longer hear this question, this request to enter. ~From Heart of the World by Hans Urs von Balthasar

I find this book hard to read. Te author's piercing reflections disturb me. They strip away my pretenses, reveal my smugness and shallowness. They challenge and indict me. I cannot plead ignorance. I can only admit my lethargy and indifference, my selfishness and wilfullness, and then throw myself at the feet of Christ my Lord, trusting in His mercy and love.

Have mercy on me, God, in your kindness.
In your compassion blot out my offense.
O wash me more and more from my guilt
and cleanse me from my sin.
My offenses truly I know them;
my sin is always before me.
Against you, you alone, have I sinned;
what is evil in your sight I have done.
A pure heart create for me, O God,
put a steadfast spirit within me....
Do not cast me away from your presence,
nor deprive me of your holy spirit.
Give me again the joy of your help;
with a spirit of fervor sustain me...
~Psalm 50